Individual
Therapy
What a Session
Looks Like
There's a mantra in IFS-Therapy that permeates the work I do: "Slow is fast." A lot of the time when I'm in session with clients they have been suffering for a long time with a problem they want to work on. There is a sense of urgency. A part of them has finally got them to therapy and they are ready to deal with what they have been carrying. I always want to acknowledge the parts of clients that got them in the door. And I acknowledge that there is a complex protective system formed through trauma. Having been in place since the problem began, these parts are longing to be known.
I work to help clients get to know their protectors from the compassionate seat of Self-energy. Instead of reacting negatively to our criticism, or anger, you learn to understand just how important it's been all this time. Inner-critics, Angry Parts, even Anxious Parts become allies for healing, rather than the cause of your pain.
The slow process is the key to change. Once your protective system is being heard, things naturally start to shift. There is even the possibility for unburdening exiled parts. While unburdening can seem like the goal of IFS, it can be a distraction to laying the groundwork for lasting change. Building trust with Protective Parts is the bedrock of creating inner freedom. From there, your parts will decide if, when or how much is safe to unburden. Sometimes it takes changing our outer world circumstances before our inner world trusts that it is safe to change in the way we have longed for.
In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, Self-energy refers to the calm, compassionate, confident presence at the core of every person. Unlike our inner “parts,” which may hold pain, fear, or extreme beliefs, the Self is not reactive or wounded. It’s the natural leader of the internal system, marked by qualities like curiosity, clarity, courage, and connectedness.
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The goal of IFS therapy isn’t to eliminate your parts, but to help them trust the Self to take the lead. Many parts operate in protective roles — like perfectionism, anxiety, or shutdown — because they don’t feel safe. But as you begin to access and embody Self-energy, these parts soften, relax, and become open to healing.
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Therapists help clients distinguish between part-driven reactions and true Self-energy. Over time, individuals learn to lead their own healing process from within, fostering deep trust, balance, and integration.
Self-energy isn't just a therapeutic tool — it’s a way of being. Whether you're addressing trauma, anxiety, or self-criticism, accessing Self provides a powerful foundation for healing and lasting change.